Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Stop Following Failed Celebrity Relationships! Stop!!! For Your Sanity!

So let me quickly say it's a quick post, because I have to go do a P90X workout before my son wakes from his nap, and my hubby comes home from work! I need the me time, but I also have a deep need to share this information and get the word out there.

No, I am not taking on the world's problems, but I get quite agitated at times when it seems like everyone is hanging onto the failing relationships of celebrities, and then thinking that these people have it together. Looking at the big picture, these celebrities who have not known their mate more than 2 years before they married, and have been in a relationship with their mate for less than 5 years...they have no clue what a committed relationship even looks like or what it means. Why do we think their relationships are something worthy of following? They are doing what everyone else seems to be doing these days, chasing that love high cocktail. In this fast-paced society we are living in--we read headlines and cheap literature (i.e. magazines and fiction), we watch reality TV, movies, and sitcoms--and we pass off what we are seeing in these relationships as what the ideal is for a "good" relationship. These celebrities--and if we've fallen into the trap of not being able to keep a romantic relationship longer than 2 years ourselves--we're deceiving ourselves; in fact, we are in love with falling in love. The moment the going gets rough--we start packing. In the case of the celebs--they move to another state. Or they say they are taking a break. Really? Are you serious?

Come on people, when you decide that you've fallen in love, and you commit to being with them, you don't take a break or move away from them! Bottomline, love changes--there's new love (falling in love, infatuation....those first glorious 18-24 months of pure bliss!--whatever you'd like to call it), and then there is what I like to call mature love. The mature love is a continually evolving thing--and if you don't work at it (read learn skills so that you stay connected to your mate), then you will freak out when the blinders come off, the love cocktail wears off--and you see the person you've committed yourself to for who they really are a unique individual. Sadly, the places we turn to for the latest scoop as we frantically fly through life chasing the next greatest thing, do not show what this kind of love looks like. So as a society we are losing focus of what is required in a loving and healthy relationship. Yes, there is much out there in the way of scholarly journals where the experts know what you need to do to have this kind of a healthy relationship, but most of us don't know where or how or have the time to go hunting for this information.

So what can we do to get our personal relationships more balanced & healthier? How about focusing more on ourselves--and finding balance within our own body--be it what we eat, how we keep our body healthy through exercise, and in nourishing our spiritual side. The only control we have is over ourselves. Choose not to focus on others' failed relationships, but on ways you personally can improve yourself and your sense of well-being.


  1. I loved this article. I appreciate your thoughts. It's so true. Most things in Hollywood are fake and very few of them are positive examples to live by or learn from.

    I recently wrote an article on a similar topic I'd like to share.

    Thank you for stopping by my site and sharing some love. Let's stay connected. You can follow me on Twitter @lisamhayes and I'll follow you back.

  2. :o) I haven't looked into or joined Twitter yet, I think I've bookmarked your site though so I can follow you. Is there another way? (I'm still learning!)


The Basic Ways We Change

There are three ways in which we can actively monitor ourselves so that we may change how we interact with our surroundings:

(1) Thoughts (cognitions)
(2) Feelings (emotions)
(3) Actions (behaviors)

When you are in traditional counseling sessions--the counselor uses a variety of theories that typically focus on one of these areas to help you make changes in your life. In the best case scenario the theory that the counselor is using is based on their training background/when they received their masters degree, as well as what the current trend is based upon research on the effectiveness of the theories in actual practice. However, we won't delve too deeply into theories and understanding methodology, because this site is educational and for you to understand more of how you work.

The activities that are posted and linked on this blog are to help give you immediate tools to begin actively reorganizing how you interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People that are aware that they can use their feelings and thoughts to influence their actions are able to control what happens to them. Novel idea? This is because they recognize that they can influence their outcomes based on identifying the emotions they are feeling, then choosing what thoughts they would like to focus on, and then putting it in to action.

Latest Research on the Impact of Marriage on Family Life

This week check out your skills on how much you know about how marriage impacts family life.

Learning Center & Blog Archive