Sunday, December 5, 2010

Thinking About It vs. Doing It

Do you have a big "it" in life that you think about, dream about, talk about..., but you hesitate to really take the actions necessary to make the "it" a reality? After much research, planning, and thinking…I’ve decided to leap into a new path in life. Some people like blindly leaping into new aspects of their life. Some prefer to know a bit before they jump. And, some like to know everything there is to know and they either forget to jump or never get around to jumping. Since these are the three camps people fall into when faced with change—I made a choice first that I wanted to be informed (rather than leap blindly) and secondly, because I was embracing change I would make the information I gathered work towards my goal of change rather than face stagnation (and not leap at all). So I spent some time gathering information, checked in with whether the choice gave me feelings of happiness or dread in two scenarios: (1) if I made the change, and (2) if I didn’t make the change…I ascertained that making the change gives me feelings of joy and daring, and not making the change would leave me more forlorn than energized, so I went ahead and leapt. As my son says, “Oh me, oh my” it is scary, but more than that it feels more like an “oh yay, oh boy!” type of exhilaration. Is it the right time? I’m not sure, but I think so. Knowing my work ethic, character, and creativity—I’d say I’ll make it work and be successful as failure is not an option. (I do realize there will be setbacks, I expect and embrace them, but from these I will grow and adapt so I do not consider them to be failures.)

So how do you like to embrace change? How would you like to embrace the stresses that come along with new ground? How do you maintain that balance? Where do you really put your faith when you have to make these decisions?

All of these questions pertaining to finding your purpose in life fascinate me. While I was busy researching and getting my feet wet just to see if I really wanted the change I just called into my life I found myself at a tipping point from being informed to being bogged down with details and planning. I began navigating the scary waters of Doubt and Overwhelming, and before my head went under I remembered I had a life vest! Hallelujah! Ever heard of the brand Faith? It truly is a life saver. For I know deep down in my gut that when I choose to do things out of good intentions, then what follows is abundance. And in that dwelling place of abundance I am able to give more of myself out of the gratitude that I can and am able to do so. And I jumped.

I hope whatever changes in life you may be facing—whether they are big or small—this gives you en-COURAGE-ment to leap into a more abundant life. To see any setbacks as growing pains that may not be fun to go through, but once on the other side when you can view them in a more positive light, they will lead you to more joy. More jumps. And more opportunities to embrace life for what it is an ever-changing journey of ups and downs. It is all in how you choose to think and act. The only moment we truly have control over is the present. And, remember, if you’re stuck JUMP! And, if you're paralyzed with indecision...physically (no more metaphors here) stand up and jump until you fall down in a pile of giggles, and then do something to take that leap of faith so joy is ever present in your life. By the way, did you know the only time you can feel and hold on to joy is when you are living in the present moment?!

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The Basic Ways We Change

There are three ways in which we can actively monitor ourselves so that we may change how we interact with our surroundings:

(1) Thoughts (cognitions)
(2) Feelings (emotions)
(3) Actions (behaviors)

When you are in traditional counseling sessions--the counselor uses a variety of theories that typically focus on one of these areas to help you make changes in your life. In the best case scenario the theory that the counselor is using is based on their training background/when they received their masters degree, as well as what the current trend is based upon research on the effectiveness of the theories in actual practice. However, we won't delve too deeply into theories and understanding methodology, because this site is educational and for you to understand more of how you work.

The activities that are posted and linked on this blog are to help give you immediate tools to begin actively reorganizing how you interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People that are aware that they can use their feelings and thoughts to influence their actions are able to control what happens to them. Novel idea? This is because they recognize that they can influence their outcomes based on identifying the emotions they are feeling, then choosing what thoughts they would like to focus on, and then putting it in to action.

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This week check out your skills on how much you know about how marriage impacts family life.

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