A Lifetime to Love--Sharing Unconditional Love

The purpose of this blog is to help you have healthier relationships by giving you information and skills to change how you relate with others. I would like to help you gain experience in giving and receiving unconditional love with your partner, family, friends, acquaintances & strangers. It is open to all people: young or old, single or married, all faiths and denominations, and it is GLBT-friendly. Click on tabs below to learn more! These pages are constantly updated.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Lots to Digest!

A lot of the framework for the site has been posted in the last week. I'm going to give you a few days to look at what's up so far..., and then I'll turn the fire hose back on with added data, statistics, and fun things to do under each of the tabs (pages).

Please leave comments on the blog--they can be anonymous--I love constructive criticism!

Steven Stosny, PhD and Pat Love, EdD came up with the following acronyms on how you can improve your marriage (or any committed relationship) without talking about it! To fully understand how this can help though, we'll delve into the scientific reasons of why behind the Rock Star.

to connect to women....you:
R--routinely connect with her
O--open your heart and mind
C--contact, contact, contact
K--keep it positive

to connect to men...you:
S--sex (where men get the largest oxytocin/bonding chemical surge)
T--touch (they need 2-3x more touch to feel bonded)
A--activity, appreciate, acknowledge what he does for you gives him meaning
R--routine, respect and honor it (takes 1.5x to restart an activity for a man compared to a woman)

If you have questions about the above, ask away, and stay tuned for more info on the Brain Difference page!

2 comments:

AnonymousJuly 27, 2010 at 10:06 PM
I'm drifting away from him. What is one thing I can do to interrupt this slow, insidious, breaking of our bond?
ReplyDelete
Lyndsay Katauskas, MEdOctober 11, 2010 at 9:41 AM
Connecting with each other. One of the easiest (and arguable hardest) things to do--is as soon as your guy walks through the front door, drop whatever you are doing and go and give him a hug and a kiss. This action screams that he is important to you. Even if you've had a hard day, or are currently too busy to talk, this is a nonverbal way of communicating that he still matters to you. If that is too hard to try at first, leaving love notes in his pocket, seat of his car, on the bathroom mirror--are other small ways of showing you care. Once you begin connecting again--then you can begin tackling the bigger issues. And for men connecting to them means they need to feel like they are providing for you and protecting you. It is wired in their brain this way. To let him know, it is as simple as thanking him for making you feel safe. Or thank him for being a good provider, doing a good job at work, etc.
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Welcome!

What's different about this blog from other love and relationship blogs is that it is chock full of skills and data so you immediately set to work on changing how you feel, think, and act so that your relationships will become healthier.

Are you interested in learning how to find and keep a healthy relationship? This is the place for you. On this site you will be able to ask questions, sign up for workshops, play games and take interactive quizzes.

What I've realized is that marriage education is not limited to already married couples. In fact--the communication skills, conflict resolution, anger management, parenting skills, emotional intelligence, understanding love languages, the neuroscience behind falling in love, erotic intelligence--this all applies to ANY committed relationship.

The key to having a successful, long-term relationship is to know that you may not have all the answers yourself, and in order to make your relationships better--you'll need to learn new ways of doing things. If you continue to practice the same behaviors, think the same thoughts, or feel the same emotions..., then chances are your relationship will deteriorate and fall apart. I want to help you to continue to fall in love or grow your friendship or move up in the workplace.

You cannot change or have control over anything but yourself! So if you want things to get better, then you have to learn new ways to think and act. Did you know that feelings are not reality? Being able to identify what you are feeling will help you use your emotions to think new thoughts, which in turn will affect how you choose to act!

Click on the tabs to learn skills or find out more about specific relationship issues based on your relationship status. Check back often to learn more about using your emotions and thoughts to influence your actions and get the results that you desire! Content is updated 2-3 times per week.

The Basic Ways We Change

There are three ways in which we can actively monitor ourselves so that we may change how we interact with our surroundings:

(1) Thoughts (cognitions)
(2) Feelings (emotions)
(3) Actions (behaviors)

When you are in traditional counseling sessions--the counselor uses a variety of theories that typically focus on one of these areas to help you make changes in your life. In the best case scenario the theory that the counselor is using is based on their training background/when they received their masters degree, as well as what the current trend is based upon research on the effectiveness of the theories in actual practice. However, we won't delve too deeply into theories and understanding methodology, because this site is educational and for you to understand more of how you work.

The activities that are posted and linked on this blog are to help give you immediate tools to begin actively reorganizing how you interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People that are aware that they can use their feelings and thoughts to influence their actions are able to control what happens to them. Novel idea? This is because they recognize that they can influence their outcomes based on identifying the emotions they are feeling, then choosing what thoughts they would like to focus on, and then putting it in to action.

Training and Education

2010. Active Relationships Certification in Six Workshops:
Active Military Life & Resiliency Skills,
Active Relationships for Young Adults,
Active Choices,
Active Marriage,
Active Families, &
Active Adults
2008. Moral Reconation Therapy (MRT) Certification
2007. Masters of Education, Counselor Education, K-12.
University of Alaska, Anchorage. GPA: 4.0
2007. Member Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society.
2006. Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST)
2002. Bachelor of Science, English with Honors. Russian minor.
The United States Naval Academy, Annapolis, MD

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Content Validity & Accuracy: All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. If I post something here that you find helpful, then that’s wonderful. In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time; something I consider a necessary part of growth, development, and having an open mind. My blog is intended to provide a snapshot of what is running through my mind, and therefore any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not be the same or similar to those I may hold today. It is not to be taken as advice. The content merely represents my own interpretation, and makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and I will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. Personal Views: The views posted on this blog are my own, and do not represent that of any of my employers or outside agencies. External Links: URLs and domains change hands over time, the content found at the end of an external link or whosoever links to me is just that--external content--I do not condone, endorse, nor take responsibility for externally posted content. Libel & Defame: The content posted is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual—basically anyone or anything, especially those with the ability and desire to fight back. Responsibility: I am responsible for the content posted, and will do my best in moderating comments; however I am not responsible, nor will be held liable, for anything anyone says on my blog in the blog comments, nor the laws which they may break in my country or theirs through the comments’ content, implication, and intent. Protection from Fellow Bloggers: Fellow bloggers who contribute to this blog are posting their personal opinions or information and is to be used for informational purposes only and not to be taken as advice. Do No Harm: The intention of this blog is to do no harm; not to injure others, defame, or libel. “Harm” is subject to the interpretation and not facts; it is an opinion, not counsel. The content is not to be taken as fact or absolute, and if you choose to use the skills, tips, techniques, and recommendations, and are injured, I am not to be held responsible. Disclosure of paid-to-blog: The blog’s content is not generated to make money and I am not paid for this blogging content. Photographs & Graphic Images: The photographs are my own personal ones, the template is made and powered by Blogger. Language: I am not responsible for the translation or interpretation of this content into another language. International & Cultural Law: Nor am I responsible if a reader from another country, whose country has laws which restricts or censors content and my blog’s content crosses their line, I am not responsible for defamatory statements bound to government, religious, cultural or other laws from the reader’s country of origin. Limits on Damages: If legal action is brought against this blog, it is not to be brought against me personally, my properties or anything else monetarily; as I am not selling anything except my own opinion and interpretation of information.