A Lifetime to Love--Sharing Unconditional Love

The purpose of this blog is to help you have healthier relationships by giving you information and skills to change how you relate with others. I would like to help you gain experience in giving and receiving unconditional love with your partner, family, friends, acquaintances & strangers. It is open to all people: young or old, single or married, all faiths and denominations, and it is GLBT-friendly. Click on tabs below to learn more! These pages are often updated.

In-Love vs. Mature-Love

Do you love the tingles? The falling in love euphoria? Do you wonder what happens after you've been in a relationship and you are at the 18-24 month mark, and suddenly you wonder who it is you are dating? Who is this person?

Do your relationships seem to end before 18-24 months?

Do you wonder what's going on?

Did you know that some of us are addicted to the love high?

We'll explore the chemicals in the brain that cause this love high, why they wear off--and what you can do to have a longer relationship.

Divorce rate is over 50% in our country right now. The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher. Maybe we need to teach ourselves new skills to keep the relationships we have--you know the ones that start out good...they can remain and become the greatest source of fulfillment in our lives!

It isn't just luck making it past the love high.

And, if you think the faults or problems you see in your partner will go away if you take on another relationship--guess what? Statistics show that every relationship has about 10 sticking points where you will have differing opinions. When you get out of one relationship, and delve into another chances are you will be taking on 10 other areas in the new relationship after the love high wears off. If there are children involved, then can you guess one of these areas with the potential for conflict?

The relationships that make it--they are the ones in which couples have learned how to and chosen to work on accepting the differences of opinion.

Check back for the posting of stats and explanation of the love high cocktail we all love to chase after!

Good news is that in committed relationships you CAN maintain the mystique in the erotic area of your relationship. By the way, did you know that statistics show that married couples are more sexually satisfied and fulfilled than non-married people? Now that is completely opposite of what the media tells & shows us, but it is the truth! More importantly than just physical intimacy, is the nurturing of your soul. Successful couples remain close by focusing on connecting in their relationship rather than just "communicating." Connecting is much deeper than communicating--it is where if you are a female you feel safe, secure, and appreciated; where if you are male you feel like you are a good provider and protector.

More later!

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The Basic Ways We Change

There are three ways in which we can actively monitor ourselves so that we may change how we interact with our surroundings:

(1) Thoughts (cognitions)
(2) Feelings (emotions)
(3) Actions (behaviors)

When you are in traditional counseling sessions--the counselor uses a variety of theories that typically focus on one of these areas to help you make changes in your life. In the best case scenario the theory that the counselor is using is based on their training background/when they received their masters degree, as well as what the current trend is based upon research on the effectiveness of the theories in actual practice. However, we won't delve too deeply into theories and understanding methodology, because this site is educational and for you to understand more of how you work.

The activities that are posted and linked on this blog are to help give you immediate tools to begin actively reorganizing how you interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People that are aware that they can use their feelings and thoughts to influence their actions are able to control what happens to them. Novel idea? This is because they recognize that they can influence their outcomes based on identifying the emotions they are feeling, then choosing what thoughts they would like to focus on, and then putting it in to action.

Welcome!

What's different about this blog from other love and relationship blogs is that it is chock full of skills and data so you immediately set to work on changing how you feel, think, and act so that your relationships will become healthier.

Are you interested in learning how to find and keep a healthy relationship? This is the place for you. On this site you will be able to ask questions, sign up for workshops, play games and take interactive quizzes.

What I've realized is that marriage education is not limited to already married couples. In fact--the communication skills, conflict resolution, anger management, parenting skills, emotional intelligence, understanding love languages, the neuroscience behind falling in love, erotic intelligence--this all applies to ANY committed relationship.

The key to having a successful, long-term relationship is to know that you may not have all the answers yourself, and in order to make your relationships better--you'll need to learn new ways of doing things. If you continue to practice the same behaviors, think the same thoughts, or feel the same emotions..., then chances are your relationship will deteriorate and fall apart. I want to help you to continue to fall in love or grow your friendship or move up in the workplace.

You cannot change or have control over anything but yourself! So if you want things to get better, then you have to learn new ways to think and act. Did you know that feelings are not reality? Being able to identify what you are feeling will help you use your emotions to think new thoughts, which in turn will affect how you choose to act!

Click on the tabs to learn skills or find out more about specific relationship issues based on your relationship status. Check back often to learn more about using your emotions and thoughts to influence your actions and get the results that you desire! Content is updated 2-3 times per week.

Training and Education

2011. Mars Venus Coaching Training with Dr. John Gray
2010. Active Relationships Certification in Six Workshops:
Active Military Life & Resiliency Skills,
Active Relationships for Young Adults,
Active Choices,
Active Marriage,
Active Families, &
Active Adults
2008. Moral Reconation Therapy (MRT) Certification
2007. Masters of Education, Counselor Education, K-12.
University of Alaska, Anchorage. GPA: 4.0
2007. Member Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society.
2006. Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST)
2002. Bachelor of Science, English with Honors. Russian minor.
The United States Naval Academy, Annapolis, MD

Disclaimer Statement:

Content Validity & Accuracy: All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. If I post something here that you find helpful, then that’s wonderful. In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time; something I consider a necessary part of growth, development, and having an open mind. My blog is intended to provide a snapshot of what is running through my mind, and therefore any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not be the same or similar to those I may hold today. It is not to be taken as advice. The content merely represents my own interpretation, and makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and I will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. Personal Views: The views posted on this blog are my own, and do not represent that of any of my employers or outside agencies. External Links: URLs and domains change hands over time, the content found at the end of an external link or whosoever links to me is just that--external content--I do not condone, endorse, nor take responsibility for externally posted content. Libel & Defame: The content posted is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual—basically anyone or anything, especially those with the ability and desire to fight back. Responsibility: I am responsible for the content posted, and will do my best in moderating comments; however I am not responsible, nor will be held liable, for anything anyone says on my blog in the blog comments, nor the laws which they may break in my country or theirs through the comments’ content, implication, and intent. Protection from Fellow Bloggers: Fellow bloggers who contribute to this blog are posting their personal opinions or information and is to be used for informational purposes only and not to be taken as advice. Do No Harm: The intention of this blog is to do no harm; not to injure others, defame, or libel. “Harm” is subject to the interpretation and not facts; it is an opinion, not counsel. The content is not to be taken as fact or absolute, and if you choose to use the skills, tips, techniques, and recommendations, and are injured, I am not to be held responsible. Disclosure of paid-to-blog: The blog’s content is not generated to make money and I am not paid for this blogging content. Photographs & Graphic Images: The photographs are my own personal ones, the template is made and powered by Blogger. Language: I am not responsible for the translation or interpretation of this content into another language. International & Cultural Law: Nor am I responsible if a reader from another country, whose country has laws which restricts or censors content and my blog’s content crosses their line, I am not responsible for defamatory statements bound to government, religious, cultural or other laws from the reader’s country of origin. Limits on Damages: If legal action is brought against this blog, it is not to be brought against me personally, my properties or anything else monetarily; as I am not selling anything except my own opinion and interpretation of information.