Saturday, October 9, 2010

Connecting, Better than Communicating?

As I sat typing up an addition to the "communication" page and posting on BlogHer..., I got the call you never want to get. One of my husband's dearly loved ones passed away. He is on his way home in a few minutes, and I will be here for him. What will be difficult is setting aside all of the daily chores, the fact his father will be arriving from town later this afternoon and the house has yet to finish cleaning itself, and just focus on being here with him in the moment. So, I will definitely be using what I was just writing about--the importance of connecting. We will have much to communicate to prepare for the funeral, take time off from work, etc., for now the most important thing and throughout this life event is to stay connected and do whatever I can to support him during this grief. I will be putting the money where my mouth is you could say. I always do. I would never post anything on this blog that I do not already do in my relationships. However, I sometimes fret that my readers wonder if I'm just writing how to put theories into practice, and I am not following these practices or skills myself. Well, I am and I do. And, this is why I am so passionate about sharing these skills and ideas with others. If you know what is working, and how to help others make their relationships more enjoyable, then to me it feels like a crime not to share. And, no, I don't know all the answers, but I keep looking and trying until I find them. We all will be different people tomorrow, each day brings with it a whole new set of challenges, and it is how we grow and change with them that is the true testament to the lives we are living, and whether at the end of the day or the end of our lifespan--whether all we went through was worthwhile and of benefit to others.

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The Basic Ways We Change

There are three ways in which we can actively monitor ourselves so that we may change how we interact with our surroundings:

(1) Thoughts (cognitions)
(2) Feelings (emotions)
(3) Actions (behaviors)

When you are in traditional counseling sessions--the counselor uses a variety of theories that typically focus on one of these areas to help you make changes in your life. In the best case scenario the theory that the counselor is using is based on their training background/when they received their masters degree, as well as what the current trend is based upon research on the effectiveness of the theories in actual practice. However, we won't delve too deeply into theories and understanding methodology, because this site is educational and for you to understand more of how you work.

The activities that are posted and linked on this blog are to help give you immediate tools to begin actively reorganizing how you interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People that are aware that they can use their feelings and thoughts to influence their actions are able to control what happens to them. Novel idea? This is because they recognize that they can influence their outcomes based on identifying the emotions they are feeling, then choosing what thoughts they would like to focus on, and then putting it in to action.

Latest Research on the Impact of Marriage on Family Life

This week check out your skills on how much you know about how marriage impacts family life.

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