Monday, November 8, 2010

Sign me up for a lifetime of love like that!

Does anyone get excited about the fact they are married/committed, and their mate loves them warts and all? The fact that he or she will be with you until the day you die? That no matter what you or say or do, you’ll be forgiven? How about the fact that you get to bear witness to the greatness of your mate on his/her life journey? How awesome is that? You, and in turn he/she, gets to be privy to all the things you do and say in your life! So, when you are switching jobs or your babies are leaving the nest, or you find yourself dealing with grief, death, economic hardships—you name it—you have someone that is there to hold your hand and get you through life’s ups and downs! At the end of your life, someone will have witnessed and been a part of the greatness that is you. That even though ___-years down the road you’re not going to have the same body you did when you first met, but he or she is gonna love you sags, bags, and all, because you promised and made a commitment to each other oh so long ago… That you don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to be honest and real. And ladies, even though you look downright sexy with your hair and make-up done, your mate still find you sexy with hair mussed, and baby spit-up on your clothes…Sign me up! It is perhaps one of the most terrifying, but exhilarating things you can do in life, don’t you think? What makes it challenging I think at times is thinking of ways to keep things fresh. Playfulness and humor go a long way to making things fun in the bedroom! Silliness, for me at least, also helps with intimacy, no matter how strange that sounds. And, at the end of the day I know someone cares. They care what I’ve felt, said, or done for that one day. And the greatest thing I can do is to love him/her back, with no reservations or conditions. And in that loving, I can encourage and instill hope and I can cheer him/her on to be the best person he/she can be—to go after his/her dreams, to tinker on his/her hobbies, and to protect & provide for our family. I think this is pretty neat! Sign me up for a life time of love like that!

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The Basic Ways We Change

There are three ways in which we can actively monitor ourselves so that we may change how we interact with our surroundings:

(1) Thoughts (cognitions)
(2) Feelings (emotions)
(3) Actions (behaviors)

When you are in traditional counseling sessions--the counselor uses a variety of theories that typically focus on one of these areas to help you make changes in your life. In the best case scenario the theory that the counselor is using is based on their training background/when they received their masters degree, as well as what the current trend is based upon research on the effectiveness of the theories in actual practice. However, we won't delve too deeply into theories and understanding methodology, because this site is educational and for you to understand more of how you work.

The activities that are posted and linked on this blog are to help give you immediate tools to begin actively reorganizing how you interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People that are aware that they can use their feelings and thoughts to influence their actions are able to control what happens to them. Novel idea? This is because they recognize that they can influence their outcomes based on identifying the emotions they are feeling, then choosing what thoughts they would like to focus on, and then putting it in to action.

Latest Research on the Impact of Marriage on Family Life

This week check out your skills on how much you know about how marriage impacts family life.

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