In-Love vs. Mature-Love

Do you love the tingles? The falling in love euphoria? Do you wonder what happens after you've been in a relationship and you are at the 18-24 month mark, and suddenly you wonder who it is you are dating? Who is this person?

Do your relationships seem to end before 18-24 months?

Do you wonder what's going on?

Did you know that some of us are addicted to the love high?

We'll explore the chemicals in the brain that cause this love high, why they wear off--and what you can do to have a longer relationship.

Divorce rate is over 50% in our country right now. The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher. Maybe we need to teach ourselves new skills to keep the relationships we have--you know the ones that start out good...they can remain and become the greatest source of fulfillment in our lives!

It isn't just luck making it past the love high.

And, if you think the faults or problems you see in your partner will go away if you take on another relationship--guess what? Statistics show that every relationship has about 10 sticking points where you will have differing opinions. When you get out of one relationship, and delve into another chances are you will be taking on 10 other areas in the new relationship after the love high wears off. If there are children involved, then can you guess one of these areas with the potential for conflict?

The relationships that make it--they are the ones in which couples have learned how to and chosen to work on accepting the differences of opinion.

Check back for the posting of stats and explanation of the love high cocktail we all love to chase after!

Good news is that in committed relationships you CAN maintain the mystique in the erotic area of your relationship. By the way, did you know that statistics show that married couples are more sexually satisfied and fulfilled than non-married people? Now that is completely opposite of what the media tells & shows us, but it is the truth! More importantly than just physical intimacy, is the nurturing of your soul. Successful couples remain close by focusing on connecting in their relationship rather than just "communicating." Connecting is much deeper than communicating--it is where if you are a female you feel safe, secure, and appreciated; where if you are male you feel like you are a good provider and protector.

More later!

The Basic Ways We Change

There are three ways in which we can actively monitor ourselves so that we may change how we interact with our surroundings:

(1) Thoughts (cognitions)
(2) Feelings (emotions)
(3) Actions (behaviors)

When you are in traditional counseling sessions--the counselor uses a variety of theories that typically focus on one of these areas to help you make changes in your life. In the best case scenario the theory that the counselor is using is based on their training background/when they received their masters degree, as well as what the current trend is based upon research on the effectiveness of the theories in actual practice. However, we won't delve too deeply into theories and understanding methodology, because this site is educational and for you to understand more of how you work.

The activities that are posted and linked on this blog are to help give you immediate tools to begin actively reorganizing how you interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People that are aware that they can use their feelings and thoughts to influence their actions are able to control what happens to them. Novel idea? This is because they recognize that they can influence their outcomes based on identifying the emotions they are feeling, then choosing what thoughts they would like to focus on, and then putting it in to action.

Latest Research on the Impact of Marriage on Family Life

This week check out your skills on how much you know about how marriage impacts family life.

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